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The Shlog

A group blog from the Sheaf Publishing Society

What are Wombles? I don’t watch enough TV. And I’m not the best at other English accents. 

Are they wombats? I think they like newspapers (i’m down). I’m fairly certain they are small. And are probably puppets. 

They would like to wish you holiday cheer. 

Best YouTube comment: Is Spedding still inside the Wellington cossie? - by alcockell

It seems incredible that Ray Charles didn’t do ten thousand Christmas songs. He does it so perfectly. 

Also, this slideshow opens with a slightly terrifying cat in a Santa hat. 

Best YouTube commenti love this song!! but every time i hear it i picture that idiot sitting in his attic dressed in gardening gloves and a pink turbon on his head bahahaha - countrySTAR06

m

eigenmotion:

ANOTHER Sufjan Stevens track for your festive enjoyment? But of course. The man puts out enough of it to warrant a couple of shout outs. More pressingly, however, this particular track is a collision pad for three ends of the weirdo and talent spectrum.

It’s got Heems rapping on Sufjan. It’s been produced by the dude from Deerhoof. OH MY GOODNESS DEERHOOF GLITCH. Be still, my high-school-self’s heart. (Who am I kidding, though? I’m fully fangirling out here. Worst part? Terrible internet connection on campus. I keep getting seconds at a time of this song. I’m going home. Screw the office.)

This album ALSO has Kitty Pryde (never so satisfying as in that one song) and Busdriver (whom I never wish to see live again). Chopped and Scrooged, baby. 

It's So Chic to Be Pregnant at Christmas by Nancy White on Grooveshark

Err. 

Welcome to Holiday in Dementia with this wacky little Canadian songbird. She’s like the holy mother Mary! With lots more openness about morning sickness and thick ankles.

She used to do a bunch of CBC Radio songs, so she’s a certified national treasure. One thing though, even for the lady who put together a whole (listenable) comedy folk album about having babies: Not a cool move taking your baby as your New Year’s date, Nancy. Not. Cool.

There is no video out there for this song, which is a tragedy. Someone, somewhere, there are so many possibilities here. Heed the call. Fill the void.

In the meantime, look how wacky Nancy is!

Some 1954 loveliness for you. Sounds like they’d love Saskatoon weather. 

This is the most outright holiday-y track from the movie White Christmas and it’s well worth watching for Vera Ellen’s tap dancing. The most holiday cheer you can handle.

Best YouTube comment: I was riding the Regional train from Boston to Philadelphia last December. I spent some time in the dining car and I swear I saw nothing remotely like this clip. No singing or talk of snow at all. I was shocked. What I did see was a 300lb hispanic woman beating the tar out of her 120lb boyfriend all the while throwing the F Bomb around. by barnj30

Hazy holiday drinking spectacular

NICOLE BARRINGTON

With the holidays swiftly approaching, students are pencilling parties into their schedules or, rather, joining Facebook events and gearing up for the end of finals. If you’re hosting a party this holiday season and feel like getting fancy, give these enticing drinks a try. These drinks taste as sweet as a gingerbread house and pack major heat!  

All of the alcohols listed below total less than $150, so you won’t lament the demise of your bank account over these drinks. 

If you can’t purchase all the ingredients on your own dime, don’t fret. Instead, throw a potluck and ask guests to pitch in. 

Just make sure that your futon is available for potential passer-outers. Yay! Christmas spirit!

Red ‘n’ Green Grasshopper Cocktail

Ingredients:

  • 1 oz. crème de menthe
  • 1 oz. cake vodka
  • 1 oz. half and half
  • red food colouring
  • ¼ cup white chocolate chips
  • 2 tbsp vegetable oil

Instructions:

  1. Set martini glasses in freezer and let chill for 5-10 minutes.
  2. In a glass pitcher, combine half and half, crème de menthe and vodka. Let set in fridge. 
  3. Heat white chocolate chips for five minutes over medium heat on the stovetop (you can also use the microwave or a fondue pot). Stir continuously so the chocolate chips do not turn brown and burn.
  4. Add vegetable oil to the chocolate chips after they have melted. Stir until liquid.
  5. Add a few drops of red food colouring to the white chocolate chips and vegetable oil mix.
  6. Decorate chilled martini glasses with red chocolate liquid and a toothpick to draw designs like snowflakes and snowmen. 
  7. Pour in alcohol. 

Blue Sparkling Star

Ingredients:

  • 1 oz. Bols blue
  • 1 oz. citrus vodka
  • sparkling white wine
  • coconut shavings
  • liquid honey

Instructions:

  1. Rim champagne flute with honey and coconut.
  2. Pour ingredients into flute.

St. Nicole’s Xtreme-mas Rumnog (the best)

Ingredients:

  • 2 oz. cake flavoured vodka (whipped cream or vanilla flavoured vodka also work)
  • 2 oz. coconut rum
  • 2 oz. Pina Colada mix
  • 3 cups eggnog
  • honey
  • candy canes

Instructions:

  1. In a pitcher, mix eggnog, vodka, rum and Pina Colada mix. Set in fridge.
  2. Crush candy canes using mortar and pestle.
  3. Rim glass with honey and crushed candy canes.
  4. Pour alcohol mixture into glass.
  5. Get buck nasty.

I have a special affinity with unicorns. At least one of my roommates is sure unicorns are her spirit animal, and thanks to JK Rowling’s terri-great Pottermore game we also know that all of us, INCLUDING OUR DOG, have unicorn hair wands.

Also. Sufjan Stevens did it again with the long crazy Christmas album, so really this is the only song we ever listen to at home anymore. All glorious 12 minutes.

(There is also Joy Division going on in here?)

Best YouTube comment: Oh I’m a mystical apostasy - zachsonpub

Sandy and Danny are all grown up. 

They’ve got matching red PJ’s. The years have not treated their dance moves kindly. Their 1:15 run-hug is a masterpiece of imitated slow-motion. And the whole family (and army?) is in on these cameos. Talk about a Christmas classic! Susan Sontag would approve

Best YouTube comment: 

Love this!!!! Whomever painted on John’s hair did an amazing job!

Beta Radio sounds like holidays, but like the holidays would sound like if a modern-day North Carolina folkies got to run the It’s a Very Special Christmas albums of the early ’90s. And those were pretty good, Santa Baby.

Best YouTube comment: I might just be being awful at the internet, but I can’t find this track on YouTube. WHO CARES THOUGH, they’re on Bandcamp! I love Bandcamp! AND Beta Radio’s new Christmas album is free right now. Get on it. 

Truly, it ain’t christmas without Run-DMC’s Christmas in Hollis. 

The beats should induce the best kind of classic rap nostalgia, and those bells. Those bells are a beautiful winter tradition. FEEL the holiday spirit. 

If you still don’t buy it, you gotta believe it when they say so in Die Hard.

Best YouTube Commentohhhh shi*t I live in Hollis queens - by mupetman1212